5 tips for an anxiety-free family break
Arriving in the stunning English Riviera
This week is Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK.
I’ve been reflecting on the break I had over Easter and why it made me feel so recharged.
It was our first holiday as a family since August 2019. Like so many, we had been through a unsettling couple of years of change and loss. Committing to a week away from home felt exciting but also anxiety inducing.
The What ifs were in full flow. What if it’s a disaster? What if the kids don’t get on? What if the weather is rubbish? What if the Airbnb is nothing like the photos? What if we can’t sleep? What if we have a car accident? (I know I know, but this is where my hyper-vigilant mind often goes).
When life feels unpredictable it can be tempting to stay firmly in our comfort zone. Our brain’s amygdala - the part of the brain that regulates fear and helps us stay physically and emotionally safe – has been on high alert for many of us for two years! I knew it was time to take a proper break to prioritise my mental health and wanted it to be as stress-free as possible.
Waiting for the passenger ferry from East Portlemouth to Salcombe
Here are my top 5 tips:
1. STAY IN THE UK
As we drove through the winding country roads en route to our The Hay Barn in South Devon my shoulders began to drop. I remembered how liberating and stress-free holidays in the UK felt. No airport queues, flight delays, expensive travel and of course – Covid rules. Keeping it simple and minimising logistics helps me to feel more in control and less anxious about the unknowns. And when we arrived, it was even more beautiful and peaceful than the owner had described - she had literally thought of everything a family could need for a restful holiday. Comfortable big beds, a garage full of garden and beach games, a stunning garden (see pic below) and books, jigsaws and a Smart TV for the slower, quieter moments.
The garden at the Hay Barn in Chillington
2 FOCUS ON YOUR MINDSET
I had three mantras to keep my mindset free from judgement. By this I mean, I often want holidays to be perfect, picturing us all laughing, making sandcastles and relaxing like the ads. When this doesn’t happen (because of course it can’t happen all the time) I can feel like I’ve failed. So here they are…
“The quality of your life is the quality of your thoughts”.
“Gratitude is the birthplace of joy”
“All we ever have is now”.
These mantras served a reminder to be grateful for the small moments of joy as well as the big ones. I was also able to reframe any negative thoughts to more positive thoughts quicker by having these 3 gems in my back pocket.
Fish and Chips from The Start Bay Inn on the beach at Slapton Sands
3 MAKE TIME TO CONNECT
There is strong evidence that feeling close to and valued by other people is a fundamental human need. We have all been lacking this during the pandemic and the rise in mental ill health conditions in all corners of the world has highlighted how much this has affected us. So, I ensured I had moments of connection to myself and others every day – mindful walks in the beautiful 2 acre garden, little chats with our neighbours, a jigsaw always on the go… We also invited our friends for part of our week, people we could be totally ourselves with - this added an injection of energy and excitement to our week. And crucially, the barn gave both our families (and dogs) private space to relax so we weren’t in each others’ pockets!
South Milton Sands after the most delicious breakfast at The Beachouse
4. GET ACTIVE IN NATURE
Every day we drove or walked to a new beach – we had the simplest of days – driving, walking, eating and playing. South Devon has some of the most breathtaking scenery in the UK – one of my favourite walks was from Gara Rock where we walked along the South West Coastal Path to National Trust heritage site Mill Bay beach. The boys played on the beach and our dog Digby popped his beach cherry! It was absolutely stunning looking out onto Salcombe over the estuary. We got the passenger ferry to Salcombe and sampled the local crab along with the local Salcombe gin! On the way back to Gara Rock we walked through the forest marvelling at the different landscapes we’d experienced. Another day we went to Burgh Island and played cricket on the beach at Bigbury-on-Sea until sunset. Slowing down allowed us to notice the beauty in our surroundings and also in eachother as meaningful chats flowed freely between us all.
Digby enjoying his first trip to the beach at Mill Bay.
5. BE MINDFUL
Studies have shown that being “in the moment” rather than thinking about the past or future directly enhances our wellbeing and helps to reaffirm our life priorities. I definitely experienced this. It gave me perspective on my life and brought my core values and priorities into sharp focus. A really quick way to ground yourself is to rub your thumb and forefinger together on each hand – focus on how it feels, looks, smells, tastes and sounds using your senses. Simple but powerful. I also love to watch my dog and see the world through his eyes - watching him digging his first ever hole on the beach was a joy!
What would your one mental health tip be for a family break? I’d love to know.
Find out more about Mental Health Awareness Week here
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We stayed at The Hay Barn in Chillington, near Kingsbridge